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Hello there :) My name is Cathy otherwise known as Spark. I am 30 yrs old, married to a wonderful man named Steve. I have 2 children named James and David. I was diagnosed with bipolar in April of 1997. I have had bipolar almost all my life I would say. It's been a pretty bumby ride for the most part. When the doctor told me I was depressed I thought, you have got to be out of your mind, WHO ME?? I THINK NOT *LOL* Well I think I knew it, I just didn't want to believe it. Here I was a woman who everyone thought was superwoman. Who could work any shift I wanted. Socialize very well. Have no trouble doing anything. To not going out. Staying in bed all day. Not cleaning up my house. Having no company over. Well, I guess this wasn't right! LOL When I was about 16 I ran away from home and left town. There I thought I found refuge from an abusive mother who now I know was an undiagnosed bipolar. I had my ups and downs with depression. I would have a good job, work 6 days a week, sometimes 12 to 16 hours a day for about 6 to 8 months. And then all of a sudden I would slip into a deep depression. I thought it was my personality *LOL* how dumb I was! *LOL* At 16 I tried to commit suicide, I took a whole bottle of asprin. Boy I was sure mad when I woke up the next morning. I thought geeesh I can't even do that right!! WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT?? I asked myself!! I did alot of writing back then, but I burnt it all that night. I hid the fact that I tried to commit suicide from my grandmother. I figured they'd lock me up and never let me out again. If only I would of told her then I would of gotten the help back then and maybe it wouldn't have been so hard on me now. |
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I have been through the emotional setbacks- the money problems while manic, racking up my phone bill while manic, the rages, the angry times, and the sad times. But I think through it all it has made me a better person today and a STRONGER one at that. I take my meds regularly, try to eat healthy and get exercise. I am still not up to where I want to be. But maybe one day I will be. :) My oldest son James is a bipolar too. He is getting the help he needs at age 11 almost 12. I wish it would of skipped him but it didn't. It seems bipolar and depression run deep in my family. I am just beginning to find this out. With more knowlege and support it does get easier to handle and deal with. Oh, did I mention I am a crazy COOK? *LOL* I work at a resturant when I am not sick. My last words are, just live one day at a time. Well, with me sometimes I live one hour at a time : )
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