Hi there ! My name is Sabrina. (aka: Debbi "What's-her-last-name-this-week?").

I'm 47 years old, a zany red-head (see pic below) with a crazy sense of humor and a love of life. I'm the oldest of ten (that's right, count em, 10) children. I have a wonderful husband named Tom who teaches history for a living, a pita dog named Butch, and four crazy cats. I also have a 22 year old son named Justin who is currently in the Army, and a seventeen year old stepson named Jay who lives with us on weekends. I live in Baltimore, hon, and have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder for about three years now.

I've been living on the yo-yo all my life (at least for about as long as I can remember). Having the label "bi-polar" was very difficult for me. It came at one of the lowest ebbs of my life. My son, who had been the focus of my universe for the past nineteen years had just gotten married. My own marriage was falling apart. And the crowning touch was when I lost a job that I had loved. I started hearing "voices" telling me to hurt myself. My self-esteem was at an all-time low. So I took an overdose of klonipin. I didn't know that it would take a lot more than I had taken to send me off. I just knew I wanted to be dead. That was the beginning of my new life as a human being.

I have lived, as the Chinese would say: "in interesting times." I've done and been everything from a waitress, factory worker, secretary, painter, actress, interviewer, gas pump jockey to an entrepreneur. I've sold furniture and opera tickets. I was in the Navy for six and a half years before they started putting women on board ships. I used to joke that when that time came I wanted submarine duty so I could come home with a bloody fortune. I did the hippie scene and lived for a while making chocolate chip cookies from my kitchen, adding special ingredients that my friends craved. I've been to Europe, Canada and Mexico and a good part of the United States. And, I've been married four times (I believe in trying until you get it right).

I am a deeply spiritual person, and have studied and practiced most of the world's religions at one time or another. Right now I'm a practicing catholic because it is the one "approved" religion that encompasses the majority of my beliefs. That doesn't mean, however, that I completely buy their party line.

Back to the bp. I have spent most of my life battling severe depression or the heights of mania. The manic times were always the best, and I've always looked forward to these "high" points (who in their right mind wouldn't, right?) My first encounter with the mental health community came at the age of 15, when my parents were told that I had had a nervous breakdown and needed to be hospitalized. Instead, they sent me to stay with my grandparents. I struggled with the depression and manic episodes for many years by myself, occasionally seeking medical help for a large variety of problems ranging from migraines and ulcers to "female" problems. I was 28 when I was divorced for the second time and started therapy in earnest. When my psychiatrist suggested that it was time "for a rest," I fought against it. When he suggested putting me on lithium I refused. When, after my half-sister's ugly death, I "remembered" the sexual abuse I had endured, my world fell apart. That one took a lot of years to even begin to recover from. I became more and more depressed for longer and longer periods of time, interspersed with shorter periods of mania and the yo-yo continued until I hit rock bottom.

I now spend most of my time as a house-wife and academic wife (meaning I help my husband do research and all of his computer-related stuff). I work part-time for a therapist doing her billing, and go to school part-time, majoring in English with a concentration in writing. In my free time I do Tai Chi and practice my hobbies.

My hobbies include: reading, computers (anything from writing, playing mahjong to surfing the internet), cooking, crafts (sewing, quilting, paper mache, painting, etc.), writing (poetry, murder mysteries), gardening, decorating, etc., etc. etc., including spending time in the chat rooms with
other bp's.