Many individuals with Bipolar Disorder are very talented writers and/or artists.

Due to the fact that some of our site visitors might be under age, we ask that parents look at this page first and censor it to make sure that it is appropriate for their children.
All work is copyrighted and may not be used or distributed without the writers written permission.

We are not accepting any new poetry for this page at the present time.


A Silver Lining


I look up into the big blue sky
to see the beautiful sun shining its light
How the color shines through the clouds
its silver lining that surrounds
The rays of light shining through
looks like a pinch of heaven
So calm as they move
Each time the wind blows
I can see shapes, that start to grow
Shapes of happiness, and love
the silver lining, that surrounds each one
There's nothing more beautiful, than this sight
The silver lining, that makes them so bright
So when you start to feel real down
Just look above, and look around
See the beauty that has been made
Appreciate what life hands you
each and every day
Always remember each cloud
has its silver lining
Just like us, its always shining

 

Written by:Jennifer Smith
(Taylor)
Copyright Dec 9th 1999

My Percherons

My strong giant Percherons with feet as big as apple pies
Pull the black shining sleigh behind them with no apparent effort.
The sleigh glides over the snow and swoosh is what the rails sing.

Their thick necks beautifully arched
Heads bobbing in unison as they trot
They know their task and perform it well.

Plumes of steam chug chug from their noses
And they nicker with delight as I say
Get along boys.

Swoosh goes the sleigh
The snow crunches under their massive hooves

Yes, these are my magical Percherons.

Written by:DaveRuslander
(DaveR)
Copyright 2-10-00

Thundering hooves pound the grassy knoll
Heads rising over the edge of the horizon
I see clouds of dust rising up
We are running as one yet alone
Separated by inches from one another

The matriarch turns
As one we turn to follow
Running into the sun
Feeling pure joy
Being part of the herd
Yet alone

Written by: DaveRuslander
(DaveR)
Copyright 2-10-00

The Black Dog

Amber waves of grass blowing in the warm summer sun
Rolling over the California hillside brings a song to the breeze.
The roots still alive while the grasses appear dead.
Magically,
They will return to a luscious green after drinking the autumn rains.
Things are not always as they seem to us.
As I contemplate the cycles coming and going, calm, stormy, dark, and light
A fluttering covey of quail suddenly rises into the sky,
As the black dog runs through the fields of gold.

Written by: DaveRuslander
(DaveR)
Copyright: 2-10-00

"Not that Way"

Please don't look at me that way
If you don't have something to say
Please just go away
The funny looks you give me
I can't help this
Can't you see
Silent looks can kill
Don't you understand that I'm ill
So stop hiding behind yourself
And take your heart off the shelf
As I am normal as anyone else


Written by:Jennifer Smith
(Taylor)
copyright 10/29/98



"Shine your light on me"

I never see the light
It is always dark
Like it is always night
I can't seem to break through
Through this lonely illness
I go from high to feeling blue
It's like some one playing with my mind
It makes me crazy and sometimes not kind
Shed some light on me
So I can see
Take away this lonliness and darkness
And let this illness flee away from me
And god, only you have the key
So set me free
So I can see light
And be able to gleam

Written by: Jennifer Smith
(Taylor)
copyright 3/4/99



"Round and Round"

Round and round
Here it goes
Where it stops
No one knows
I am very high
Now Im very low
I just dont know which way to go!
But all of a sudden I'm moving
v e r y s l o w
Im feeling very deep pain
So deep I feel it in my veins
I say "its just my mind playing games"
My mind sharing laughter and hate
Now this is over, I can feel rage!!
Round and round
Here it goes
Where it stops
No one knows
I can feel the rage as Im not moving slow
Now I am on the go!!!!!!
Boy, what a change!!!
Since the last one, things are not the same
WOW! What are all these thoughts??
Now all I want to do is talk talk talk!!!
One subject to the next
Lots of words comeing to my head
Lets go here
Lets go there!!
I just want to go somewhere!!!!
Now them thoughts are going away
Round and round
here it goes
where it stops
no one knows
I'm ok now
For the time being
Now, I just feel like sleeping
Im in a normal state
Without the laughter and the hate
Round and round
here it goes
Where it stops
Now I know!

Written by:Jennifer Smith
(Taylor)
copyright 10/27/98



Who am I…

You don’t know me
You just know my name

People are worried about me
But they don’t say why

I don’t understand me
Who am I, what am I

Chemicals, pulses, fluids
Always flowing through me
But their levels always change
No one is ever the same

So who am I today
Who will I be tomorrow?

My brain is broken but
Sometimes it makes my mind better
At least different
The chemicals, the pulses, the fluids
They are me.

Maybe god is your mind
But if those chemicals, pulses, fluids, and synapses
Are broken
Then is god too?

Written by :Dave Ruslander
(Dave)
Copyright: 2/2000


Surrounded By Glass

I walk alone in the silence of the night
Darkness surrounds me, no one in sight
I see windows with glass all around me
But some how, no matter how hard I try
I just can't break through them free
There seems to be no way out
Locked inside, I cry out loud
I then see people looking in at me
Trying to reach their arms out, to break the glass free
There is just no way
The glass won't break
The darkness seems to be getting darker
As the fight becomes harder
Will it ever become light?
As I lay down and cry
Will I be able to break free?
Like a wave that rises, it must break
And after darkness, it becomes light
And you will awake
Like a spell that was cast
It will not last
The darkness will be over
So I can break through this glass


Author's notes:
This is about depression and how it feels to be in a deep dark depression. It feels sometimes I have
glass that surrounds me, its so hard sometimes to break free from depression. People try and pull
me out of the depression, but as everyone knows that has this illness...you cannot just get pulled out
of this no matter how hard someone tries to pull you out. You just have to know it will pass, it just
has to ride itself out.

Written by : Jennifer Smith
(Taylor)
Copyright: Feb.15th,2000



-The Bipolar Bends-

Hiding from the pain
I curl up into a ball
bury my face into a pillow
I hear laughter down the hall.

A world without sorrow and racing thoughts
exists beyond my bed
I pull the covers up tighter...
I want this outta my head

I try to find comfort in anything I can
my loved ones, dark chocolate, my friends
but I have this fetal position going on
I have the Bipolar Bends

Written by: Mela Jackson
Copyright: May 8th, 2000

"A Wandering Mind"


I have a wandering mind
Too many thoughts at times.
Lots of ideas go out as fast as they come in
They are sometimes sharp as a pin.
Just once I would like to catch one of those thoughts
But when I get the chance, that thought is lost.
A wandering mind can be so exciting
Because often like this, I love writing.
I hear the phrase sometimes "catching butterflies?"
Because I'm staring off into space, due to my wandering mind.
Some of the thoughts that come into mind
Are sometimes so funny, I'll laugh till I cry.
Some are sad and will stick in my mind
They are usually the ones I catch, the ones that are scary and not very kind.
The one thing I hate is when it gets to something I call the "spin cycle"
That mind of mine will go miles and miles.
I feel sorry for the person standing next to me
That's usually when they decide its time to leave.
It's amazing what a wandering mind can do
But no matter what, "I still love you".

Written by: Taylor
Copyright

"Broken Wings"


Lonely tears fall down my face
Fearfull, yet brave, escaping my pain
The heart feels many things
To me sometimes feels like an angel with broken wings.
No where to turn, no where to hide
These wings must be fixed so I can feel alive.
Too much pain, but too much pride
To show my hurt I keep inside.
Listen people to my cry
Look at the hurt that's inside my eyes.
This special angel needs to mend
Please open your hearts and let me in.
Don't be scared to hold out your hand
I'm as normal as anyone else, please understand.
I hurt, love and cry like you
The only difference is I'm ill and want to feel new.
So please help this angel with her wings
So I can feel whole again, and fly freely.

Written by: Taylor
Copyright May 1st, 2000




Dreams

My eyes flutter open
The night is black as bears
My pillow the repository of my dreams.

Awake now I am disconnected from that world
Though my emotions still fire from the dream.

Lost in this sea of blackness
Separated from my body
The taste of bile in my throat
My mouth sand paper dry
Head throbbing like the trestle from the train
My confusion envelopes me like a comforter.

Were I to sleep again could I retrieve the dream I left?
I've already turned my pillow over for the cool refresh.
The dream may have tumbled out the other side
To roam with the black bears of the night.

Written by : Dave Ruslander
Copyright: April 27th, 2000
"Set Me Free"


entangled
trapped
suffocating
who i was days ago
is prisoner to who i am today
frightened
let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out

this stranger of darkness
this woman of hateful rage
furious frustration
has created
h e l l
in the inside walls of my mind
these walls used to serve as security
now they confine me to this insanity
i thought i had escaped
days ago
i was free
of the slowed motion shakey fingers
frightening frustration & anger
and the scariest part to me...
the ultimate feeling of dread:
dark & heavy like the grim reaper
afraid with every thought movement
that this will be the last
for me
or those i cherish.

please with the deepest desperation i possess
within me please
stop this please stop this please

 

if there exists a higher power than insanity
please set me free.

 

January 3rd, 2000
Jessicah M.Rohrbaugh
"Justice"

Stop being so dramatic. You are too emotional. Why are you so high strung?
Life isn't that bad.
You'll get over it. It's all in your head.
deal with it.
I try to take your advice
I try to deal with it
My walk through life, each step so full of feeling
feeling so deeply about every detail
of every day
Gut-wrenching, choking emotion that cripples me in the steps of my life.
How can you care if you lose your job (or not) when the song on the radio
is so intense it ripples
through your insides weaving in & out
word by word
unfolding & defining itself deeply
defining the world
I understand too well.
I am on overload of life's little wonders!
the rest of the world is mystified, curious, questioning...
I just want what they have: security & stability,
a routine that day to day changes slightly
but with reason & rationality.
The two Rs i have never known.

My days are moment to moment inner conflicts
that control me.
"Who am i?"
I laugh at those who ponder that thought, having known more than one day
outside their own mind, never voiceless.
They have a concept of who they are.
Who the hell am I without this illness?
An inside insanity deteriorates my life into nothing
destroying those closest to me
shoving them away so far there is no reconciliation.
I am so sorry
If i could reach to touch you
without breaking you like porcelin
I would apologize
& make you see that i hurt you because the love i feel is too intense.

So in-love & happy!
Full of confidence! Planning the future in stone!

"I have it all figured out!" I scream with enthusiasm,
the purposeful superwoman chosen to change the world.

The next minute I am the villian, hard & cruel
violent, full of rage
biting your head off with words that are not my own creation
"I hate you, I wish you'd die" & more violent strings
of hatred that cut deep.
Throwing things, breaking things, destroying.
Lashing out
Wanting you to feel what I feel.
crying out for you to help me. Oh dear god help me

Later I am pacified, silent, kidnapped by my own self.
Voiceless
but tormented with harsh emotions & thoughts
of my useless existance in life.
Wanting a way out but trapped inside my own mind
a world of regrets, guilt
& everlasting minutes of swimming through the past.
And the one who hold the key -
My captor
is my illness.
Make me better. I beg you.

I am the superwoman, the villian & the captive.
an action movie
a comedy
a horror
a drama
a love story
all in one woman.

I am insanity,
able to conquear & build up such a beautiful, productive world
only to destroy it with a vengeance.
then dwell in my destruction,
Held captive
by an illness.

3/13/00
by Jessicah/"Justice"

A Mother's Love


A mother has such a gentle touch
She knows how to love
When times get rough
She knows my fears
Because she feels them too
Many times we have cried together
And wiped away each others tears
Hold each other close and not wanting
to let lose
Many times through my life
I have messed up and wanted to die
I would look at my mother, she would have tears in her eyes
She would look at me, and would tell me
"everything is going to be alright"
She is like an angel, guarding me under her wings
Not letting life's threats harm or touch me
When I look at her, I see a little bit of everything inside.
Love, compassion, forgiving, and so much pride.
Pride for not who she is or what she has accomplished in life,
But for what god gave her, two little girls to love till the end of time.
I don't know what god was thinking when he sent her to me
Knowing how I was going to be sick, and her dealing with my tragedies.
Because of the strong person that god intended her to be
She could love
And love can overcome anything with the right gentle touch.
My mother is my best friend
She will always be
Till the end of time, till eternity.

Author's notes:
This poem is dedicated to my mother Rita Sprague, for the kind, caring mother she has been through my
life. This is also dedicated to all the mothers and daughters and son's that may feel like what I just
expressed in the poem. I love you mom,
Jennifer
(Taylor)
Copyright March 18th, 2000

The Secret To Life

Your reality is your life.
But is it real?
Fear panic anger negativity can fill your life
But are those appropriate feelings for your life?

Just as easily bravery, joy, empathy, and love can fill your world.
Sometimes we bounce between these worlds and other worlds too.
Does that make any of them more or less real?

All feelings, all thoughts, even your mind is invisible, adjustable, and
artificial.
They are illusory as is perception, space, and time.

Life is all in your mind.
You can go and do anything in your mind if you focus.

The secret to life is...
Change your mind and you will change your life.

Written by: Dave Ruslander (daver)
Copyright March 16th, 2000

The Seasons of Virginia

It's the neither time, not really winter not yet spring.
Still mostly brown but hints of change abound.

Abstract shapes of tangled vines
Meandering through these woods.

Cool breezes blow the shapes to and fro'.
Some days are still cold
It's not Spring yet you know.

The vines like pythons squeeze out life.
It's Nature's way for life's renewal.

Forsythias sway in the breeze.
Japonicas start to sparkle in pink silks.

Sleeping trees awaken over night.
It seems yesterday they were bare.
Today, are tiny buds green, red, yellow and white.

Jonquils and daffodils poke through the soil.
And groundskeepers plant pansies in full bloom.

A few more weeks we'll see Redbuds,
Star magnolias and cherry blossoms too.

Then come Dogwoods pink and white
O my god now there's a delight.

Spring's glorious colors, scents, aromas, warmth,
Chirping birds, and raging squirrels have arrived.

Be careful though, don't plant your vegetable garden.
We could still get a frost as late as the first of May.

When azaleas bloom in every color
The beginning of the end of spring is near.

Summertime blows hot and humid.
The greenest greens ever seen mark summer in Virginia.

Lavender and sweet tobaccos scent the air.
Crape Myrtle's, peaches, and apple blossoms burst.

A humid haze settles in creating a Blue Ridge on the mountains.
Cicada's, a cricket, and tree frogs chirp.
While owls hoot and hawks swoop searching for food.

Butterflies migrate here
Gossamers, Metalmarks, and Swallowtails.
The honeybees and butterflies pollinate flowers, crops, and trees.

At the river a Blue Heron stands statuesque
Waiting for a meal to swim up.

The ospreys sit in big stick nests
Then take flight soaring over the river
And reach in to take lunch out.

The river wide and slow has a greenish tinge from moss and tannins
The air is hot and the pace is slowed
By now the humidity is growing old.

September's here, summers gone
Chlorophyll recedes allowing
Colors hidden to fill the leaves.
Rusts, yellows, reds, orange
Create an abstract painting every autumn.

Riding through the woods on horseback I see
A red tail hawk with a vole.
My horse keeps his eyes down
Careful not to step in a gopher hole.

White tail deer still fattening up
Munch on Nandina berries.
Robin's fly south, cocoons are spun
Winter prep is almost done.

The days grow shorter as fall proceeds.
Black powder season is almost here.
Soon men and boys will be tramping through weeds.
Most won't get a kill but all will get a thrill.

Before hunting season starts.
It's time for apple pickin and corn harvests.
Farmers disk the fields and butcher meat.
That's Virginia's countryside.

Suburbanites over seed their yards
Add some lime and fertilize.
Don't forget the Weed-Away.
We'll have only Fescue in this yard!

Take our children to a pumpkin patch.
Let them scurry to find the perfect one.
All the way home we'll talk about this adventure.
And try to decide how this Halloween Jack-O-Lantern will look.
Don't worry we'll all take turns carving the thing.

Leaves are raked wind is cold.

Winter's come look out for snow.
The skies are gray there's been sleet and ice.
Blue smoke hovers in the hollows from wood stoves.

The trees are bare snow runs packed.
Skiers are out and snowboarders too.
We'll stay inside by the fire curled up reading me and you

But another few weeks and it'll be nice.

It's the neither time, not really winter but not yet spring.

Written by: Dave Ruslander (daver)
Copyright March 16th, 2000s

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Page last Updated: 06-25-02

"For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet's brain"
Author: Ibi