Patience and Rigorous Honesty are the two most necessary lessons I had to learn before I started my recovery.

When I was getting started, I was pretty much a wreck, I needed a whole new way of living. Learning to be rigorously honest was tough, but geesh, when you have not taken basic care of yourself in years, you need to learn how to do so. I had to make the simplest of goals, look at them seriously, and really work on them: taking a shower once a day, feeding myself at least twice a day, going to sleep for at least 6 hours a day, taking a pill when I am supposed to. Pretty challenging goals for a college educated 40 year old man huh?? It took some rigorous honesty to admit how far I had slipped, and what types of things I needed to conquer before I could progress very far. It took some humility and honesty to admit to others the goals I had set for myself, and accept their help in achieving them. Fortunately I learned new disciplines pretty quickly. Within a few weeks what was once serious work, requiring charts, promises, and reports, became second nature and a humorous memory.

Patience, gosh how I hated that word. Early on it took forever (it actually was 10 days, but felt like a month) to get in a see a pdoc, and for ten days, each day, after doing everything I could to expedite the process, they told me Be Patient! Then I got into see the guy and got some meds. Why aren’t they working!! You guessed it…Be patient, it often takes 3 weeks for the kinds of meds we need to take effect. I struggled and chomped at the bit. I finally admitted I was sick! I went to see the doctor! I am taking the meds and doing the stuff you told me! I WANNA GET WELL, and I wanna be well NOW!!! Well, you are smart enough to see that I was acting sick for decades before I admitted anything or actually took any steps toward recovery. Not too reasonable for me to expect to magically reverse all that in a week, or even a month. But they were right, after putting one good day after the next, life did improve. I learned to recognize the little things I was doing that represented my progress. With some patience, all the little steps I was taking, all added up to some major progress by the time that first month ended. Heck, after a month of recovery, I was ready to go "cure" a few OTHER people!

Lots of my very early recovery is a blur now, it was not a fun time, and I really would not like to go back and relive it. But it was exciting, each day was a new adventure! I felt a lot like a blind person who receives his sight for the first time - very shy and tentative, testing out everything as he goes, suspicious; but delighted and determined with the direction his life is now taking - convinced that he never wants to go back to the darkness.

Adolescent Bipolar | Bipolar in Depth | Bookstore | Cartoons | Classifieds | Contact Us | Deserata | Disclaimer | Donations | Feedback | Guestbook | Free Stuff | Friends | Games | Home | Instructions 4 Life | Links | Mailing List | Mental Health News | Message Boards | Newly Diagnosed | Newsletter | Peer Counselors Bio's | Petspage | Poetry | Polls | Resources | Siglets | Suicide Prevention | Web Rings | Welcome Letter

Last Modified: 05-06-01