Chances are, if you have been recently told you are Bipolar (0r are just now coming to terms with it), you will go
through the stages of grief that one goes through when someone dies :denial, depression, anger, acceptance. In a way, the "life you ordered" as a good friend of mine puts it, has died.

In my opinion, denial and depression are the most dangerous of times, because you tend to not take meds, feel
worthless, and may be suicidal. Anger was the hardest for me. I had spent so much of my life dealing with my father's illness, and listening to various people blame him, blame my mom, blame God. . . . that I felt it was
patently unfair that I had it too. I was terrified of manic phases as my father's were very scary to a child, and I
was depressed much of the time (BP II).

You have a right to these feelings, but do not let them consume you. In order to heal, you have to move towards
acceptance and work with your pdoc and take your meds and try a bazillion "coctails" maybe, until you find the one that is right for you. It is cold comfort, but there are so many worse things that could happen to you. Live each day to it's fullest, make yourself get out if you are depressed, talk to someone if you are suicidal. Chart your moods, identify triggers for you (sometimes there aren't any) and find things that work for you to bring yourself up and down, whichever is needed (ie, listening to music, walking, excercising, meditating, deep breathing etc.)

Participate in your therapy, you are the only one who can tell how you really feel, and if you are not honest with
your pdoc, then he will NOT be treating YOU, he will be treating the person you have presented him with.

Last of all, be kind to yourself. This is NOT your fault, it is nobody's fault. You are not weak or stupid because you have this, or because you are having a rough time, or cannot remember your dog's name (;) joke). There is not a tattoo on your forhead that says "BP"or "Mentally ill", people cannot tell by looking at you. You are a person deserving of kindness and respect, expect it, accept it (very hard sometimes ) and if need be, demand it!

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Last Modified: 05-06-01