Jinxie

Hi, this is Jinxie, and I have been asked to say a few words about myself. A few words, hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Anyone that knows me is aware that a "few words" would not describe me.....lol To the serious part now. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in Dec of 1997, and it has been a roller coaster ride from there. Well, to be honest I have been on that ride all my life and was never diagnosed properly. Recently I was also diagnosed with Partial Complex Seizure Disorder which they feel was a trigger for my Bipolar. I still have not been educated in this new maladay, but as soon as they explain it to me I can answer any questions someone might ask. Or if I wait around long enough they will find something else to take it's place. Isn't that the way it always is? lol I am a responsible Bipolar in that I take my meds properly, see the pdoc on assigned dates, call him when something isn't quite right, and engage in weekly therapy. Since my move to Idaho in Dec of 1999 I am still searching for a support group. I am told there isn't one, and was asked if I would be willing to facilitate a group in the area. Now if that isn't the blind leading the blind I don't know what is....lol Seriously though I am considering the offer. Groups to me are an important part of my therapy. That is why I became involved with support groups online. It is good to talk to others that face the same things we do, understand the meds, and have issues that non BPs are unable to understand.

I am also an artist. I work in fine art printmaking, and fiber art in particular, though I do paint and engage in other projects as they catch my interest. There are many bipolars that are caught in the creative fields. My therapist told me about a book that was written on the subject. As soon as I am able to borrow it I will pass the title out to all who are interested in A-Silver-Lining. That is one thing I enjoy about an online support group, we are able to share information like that. Many of the people I have come to know in the bipolar realm are creative in various ways. That excites me, as I am able to talk to them about their work and about my own. It is refreshing and gives me an energy (of the good kind) boost to finish a piece of work. Since I now have a working scanner I will be able to share such things with my friends here from time to time. On to a more sober subject. I am also a rapid cycler, and this frightens me sometimes. It is knowing that I am out of control that gives me the most trouble. I know in my mind that it is just the disorder, but it really helps to have a hug when it is going on. I now have someone that is patient and very free with his hugs. He is not bipolar, but does suffer from clinical depression. I haven't had this in my life in about 17 yrs, and it feels good to know I am loved despite my bipolar. Dave is his name, and though he may not come in the chat room (due to lack of typing skills to keep up) he does have his insights, and I will share them with you all from time to time. He is a kind hearted man, and treats me well. Other than the bipolar and PCSD I am physically handicapped to an extent. This has a play in my moods. When the physical pain is up so the depression goes down. This is a viscious cycle, and I know other bipolars who are in the same situation. What I have to say to all of you is hang in there, and find someone that understands to talk to. We are ALL still human after all. Jinxie

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