Welcome to A Silver Lining! In our Newsletter we'll provide
updates about our website in this section, give you an idea of
what we're working on, provide tidbits of information about Bipolar
and various other mental illnesses, and share lighthearted musings
written or contributed by our Peer Counselors, Moderators and
friends of ASL.
Aubrey from the chatroom said something really profound and I
wanted to share it here on the Newsletter: "I hear a lot
of bipolars say, "I work well under stress", or "I
work my best under stress", but I wonder if what they really
mean, is "I need stress to boost my adrenaline high enough
to have my proper motivation."
Note from Mela: I think he hit the nail on the head!!! Thank
you Aub!
BIRTHDAYS:
If you'd like your birthday month listed here please send
your nickname and bday month to:
admin@a-silver-lining.org
Note: we do not accept personal emails where we are asked questions
about bipolar or relationship concerns, etc.
JANUARY:Ginny, Monica89, TIGGER3522, Shay
FEBRUARY: Derek, Classykat, Mabel
MARCH: Mongan, Eric, Morley, Candlelite, IVEY
APRIL:Elizabeth1979, Kay Elisabeth
MAY: Leda, Sunshine, Scarlet, Pat, Oldy
JUNE: Angel, Penguin
JULY: Kathy, Bon
AUGUST: Zanny, Mela, Randy, Julie, Stefie, Cupcake, Nellie,
Derf, Larry
SEPTEMBER: Spark, Fenderman, Anam-Cara, Edge, Malachi
OCTOBER: Imperia, Paprika, Laura
NOVEMBER: Gatherer7, Breeze, Buddy, Flyinglow777
DECEMBER: Themis, Spuds, Purplefreak
ANNIVERSARIES:
Let us know when you're going to have your anniversary.
Please send the nicknames and date to:
admin@a-silver-lining.org
Mongan and Mela: June
Buddy and Kathy: June
www.WeightLossResource.com
TALENTS:
Do any of you have a scanned picture of your artwork,
craft or hobby that you'd like us to put on our site for you?
These can be paintings, pottery, needlework, puzzles, quilts,
etc. Please send your pics to:
admin@a-silver-lining.org
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Please send announcements to admin@a-silver-lining.org
The following was written by Homeless Poet, one of our
message board members:
Well friends......I still have this darned insomnia, even
taking
3 Benadryl. It almost 5:30 in the morning here on the east coast
and I still have not fallen alseep after taking the benadryl
at 11 pm. Wrote this a little bit ago. For whatever it's worth.........
BIPOLAR INSOMNIA
She was diagnosed Bipolar
But not until her later years
By then her life was such a mess
Cause her brain kept switching gears
In looking back she now understood
The reason for bizarre behavior
But the damage was already done
And what she needed was a savior
So she knelt down beside her bed
And there on bended knee
She asked God for his guiding hand
To somehow set her free
It didn’t come like she expected
There was no flash of light and cure
But she found herself a “Silver Lining”
That would help her to endure
So thank you God for sending me
This group who understands
Somewhere I can turn to when
I can’t meet life’s demands
Now if you would be so gracious Lord
I have one more request
Please help me find a medication
So I can get a good nights rest
Theresa
For the ladies only: Do
you have PMDD?
A lot of bipolar women don't recognize that they're having
a problem with their hormones. More specifically, PMDD. That
stands for Pre Menstral Dysphoric Disorder. I've seen it time
and time again in the chatroom; a woman will come into the chatroom
expressing how depressed she is "all of a sudden,"
sometimes even suicidal, and after a brief talk I discover that
she is within 1-2 weeks of starting her period (but usually 7-10
days.)
PMDD is like PMS but much, much worse. The biggest characteristic
of PMDD is horrible mood swings. So bad that it interferes with
your daily life and your ability to function normally. Here is
a cut and paste from the DSM- IV: (Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders)
For a PMDD diagnosis a woman must regularly experience
five or more of the symptoms listed in the DSM-IV during the
premenstrual period, and the symptoms must seriously impair her
ability to function on a day-to-day basis.
In making a diagnosis, a psychiatrist or physician will
first investigate other issues that may cause PMDD-type effects,
including thyroid problems, hormone imbalance, lupus, or other
psychological disturbances such as depression.
Emotional and Psychological Symptoms
depression or feelings of hopelessness
anger
anxiety
severe mood swings
lack of interest in usual activities
lack of energy
changes in appetite including binge eating
problems with sleeping too much or too little or waking at odd
times
feeling overwhelmed or out of control.
Physical Symptoms
Some physical discomfort or pain typically accompanies the emotional
and psychological ones, including bloating and tenderness in
the breast, abdomen or groin area.
-------------end of cut and paste------------
It is stated that this condition isn't very common, affecting
only 3-8% of women, but I think the count is actually much higher.
I believe that there are a tremendous amount of depressive and
bipolar women who don't report these symptoms to their doctor
in association to their hormones/periods because they assume
that what they're experiencing is a typical bipolar mood swing
or depression. I even think that there are a lot of women who
get an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when the real problem is PMDD.
I think that if we journal our periods and mood swings for at
least a few months, there will be a lot of us that will see a
pattern emerge. Most doctors treat PMDD with SSRI antidepressants
like Zoloft, taking one pill a day for the 7-10 days (or even
up to 2 weeks) prior to when the menstral period is to start
and then discontinuing the anti-d after the mensus has started
and the PMDD symptoms have subsided.
I shudder to think of all the women that have gone untreated
for this and have suffered needlessly. Even more painful is the
realization that some lives have been lost to suicide due to
PMDD. If you have problems with severe mood swings every month,
please consider journaling. It's not too late to get help for
this. Our bipolar/medicated minds aren't always the best with
memory recall, so you might want to journal for awhile even if
you don't think you have a monthly mood problem. You might be
surprised at what you find out.
Love to all my lady friends,
Mela
rlj63 on our Family and
Friends Message Boards writes:
My man finally stopped resisting taking his meds. I guess it
just goes to show that persistence pays!
He snarled at me recently when I handed them to him, so
I said, "I have to ask you a question. No, that's wrong.
I need to ask you several questions. When is the last time you
threw something across the room? How long has it been since you
put your fist through the wall? Do you remember the last time
you tore apart one of my home electronics looking for a bug?"
He said nothing for about 5 seconds, then looked at me and said,
"I love you, baby."
This all happened because we never gave up! We never gave
up on finding the right doctor, the right combination of meds.
We never gave up hope. We are 90% there - still dealing with
an anxiety problem, but working on it. Don't give up on those
you love - persistence pays!
Our Peer Counselor Malachi
wrote this article on Borderline Personality Disorder:
BPD
In society today, there is a fairly new diagnosis out that
affects about 2% of the population. Along with it comes many
different views, treatments, policies and a whole new stigmatism
of ironies and stereotypes. It is called borderline personality
disorder, BPD for short. In short, it's all about how a person
is unable to regulate emotions properly.
BPD people often abuse themselves in different ways. Some people
self injure, but that is often mistaken for a suicide attempt.
In fact, it isn’t at all that. It is a way for them to become
grounded, to make things real or even just a release from something
they don’t know or don’t want to know. Anger or intense
mood swings that last less than a day and occur rapidly are also
a frequent sign. Many borderlines also have drug and/or alcohol
problems, as they try to self medicate to control themselves.
They also have low self esteem and view themselves as worthless
or bad. They often feel misunderstood and become bored easily.
These behaviors make them feel isolated and lacking in social
support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.
This then creates an unstable enviroment in relationships, either
where they are totally avoidant or to the opposite extreme, totally
dependant. Other behaviors that may be seen include expensive
spending, binge eating and unprotected or other unsafe sex.
Treatments for this frustrating disorder are still in the works.
One treatment is called DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Training,
which has been proving to be effective along with antidepressants
and antipsychotic medications
ClassyKat contributed the following prose.
(author unknown) It's funny and lighthearted. Enjoy!
The Ten Commandments of Manic Depression
Thou shalt not blame everything on chemical imbalance.
Thou shalt avoid high places and sharp objects when on either
extreme of the mood spectrum.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's shiny trinkets.
Thou shalt not trust any shrink who writes thee up a prescription
after the first 15 minutes.
Thou shalt not beat up anyone while on a manic fit, no matter
how much ye really want to, or how much they deserve it.
Thou shalt indulge in immaturity whenever the urge strikes thee.
Thou shalt not break stuff that does not belong to thee.
Thou shalt go to bed only when ye feel tired.
Thou shalt allow others to occasionally get a word in edgewise.
Thou shalt not send people crazy e-mails at odd hours of the
night; and if thou does, then thou shalt take full responsibility
for thine actions.
Mela wrote the following article
for the family and friends of the bipolar:
Some information and suggestions for the spouse/loved one/friend
of someone with Bipolar Disorder:
Note: To alleviate the problem of constantly saying "he/she...him/her"
I will refer to the Bipolar person in the feminine sense.
A lot of family and friends of the adult bipolar often
express frustration when the bp person is not med compliant or
is not responding to their medication.
When an adult has spent most of their life as an undiagnosed
bipolar, it'll take some time to turn things around. The brain
becomes conditioned to being stimulated by haywire chemical/electrical
activity. With this conditioning, the brain has to be trained
to work the correct way, and sometimes this takes a few months
to a year or more before a more desirable stability is seen.
For a select few, true stability will never be seen.
Even for those who are med compliant, when someone has gone though
many years with mood swings it kind of feels strange to not have
them anymore, or for them to lessen in severity. You'd think
that a person would be delighted to be more "normal"
but that "normal" feels "uncomfortably comfortable."
It's really hard to explain this to someone who hasn't experienced
it.
In time, if the person with bipolar disorder has found
a good medicine(s), and has a good support system, they will
want to stay stable because they will find that their life is
much more enjoyable and manageable with stability. If their past
hypomania's and mania's were such that they were euphoric or
more creative or productive, etc. (at least part of the time)
then there will always be a desire to experience that again.
Like a junkie who has been off heroin for many years...the temptation
or the desire will always be there. That is not to say that everyone
who is bipolar is going to relapse and get off meds but it is
common not to be med compliant from time to time. Medicine is
not always the be all and end all of Bipolar Disorder. Most people
with this illness will still have mood swings. Usually not with
the same severity but bothersome just the same.
With the bipolar person who has experienced more depressions
than hypo's and/or mania's, the desire to be med compliant will
be stronger. No one is willing to put themselves through the
torture of depression willingly. And believe me, "torture"
describes it well.
What will help a person with bipolar disorder more than
anything besides medicine, is having a strong healthy family
unit or support from family and friends. Stress and chaos are
the bipolars enemy! Keep things calm at home and try to let a
lot of the little things go. Has depression caused your spouse
to let the housework go? Roll up your sleeves and help out with
a smile on your face. Is your loved one/friend a little hypo
and acting silly or strange? Don't let it embarrass you, laugh
with her. Let your spouse know that you are a team . When you
walk in from work and she is still in bed don't shout at her
and tell her that she is a failure or walk away from her making
comments under your breath. Hold her in your arms and tell her
that it's okay, that you understand. Depression is a lot easier
to come out of if you have the understanding and patience of
your family and friends. One of the biggest things that prolongs
a depression is being racked by guilt. Guilt for not being the
person that you used to be. Guilt for not being the person that
your spouse wants you to be. Guilt for not being able to get
out of bed and cook dinner. Guilt for a house that looks like
a tornado hit it. Guilt for not being able to be there for the
kids. Guilt for having made a fool of yourself at the company
picnic. Guilt for spending too much. And so forth and so on.
You can help lessen that guilt.
What NOT to say:
You could really help yourself if you wanted to.
Just pull yourself up by the bootstraps.
How can you stand to always be depressed?
Why aren't you the same person I married?
This house is a pigsty, why can't you keep it clean?
Is my love not enough?
I give you everything, so why are you depressed?
You act like a fool.
The kids hate you now.
I hate you.
I don't understand you.
You ruin everything you touch.
I liked the 'old you' better.
You're getting fat.
Snap out of it.
You never wear make-up anymore.
You dress like a slob.
What you CAN say:
I am here for you no matter what.
We can get through this together.
We're a team.
I'll help however I can.
Don't worry about the housework.
Having bipolar isn't your fault.
I love you.
The kids love you.
You talk, I'll listen.
Things will get better.
What can I do to help you out today?
Would you mind if I cooked dinner tonight?
Can I bring you something to eat or drink?
Would you like to go for a walk?
You're beautiful.
You make me happy.
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well.
A lot of the success of your relationship will be dependent
on the bp's compliance and willingness to stay stable. But a
lot of responsibility will rest upon you as well. How you react
to them and their problems will help them or hurt them. You must
treat this as "our problem," not "your problem."
If you are in a relationship where there is abuse, get
help and get out. No one deserves to be abused, no matter the
reason behind the abuse.
If there is no abuse but the relationship is hard on you,
then get your own support system. You can talk to a therapist,
a member of the clergy, etc. You have to think of your own mental
health, not just the person who is ill.
If you feel uncomfortable being around someone who has a mood
disorder, just remember that it can happen to you . This illness
doesn't care what color you are, what your religion is, what
your occupation is, what your political ideas are, what your
passions in life are or how strong you are emotionally. You might
find yourself sick someday, whether it be a mental illness, or
a different kind of physical illness. Treat others the way that
you'd want to be treated and maybe just maybe, someone will be
there for you if you ever get sick.
DAY contributed this published article
on the depressed child:
Facts for Families
THE DEPRESSED CHILD
Not only adults become depressed. Children and teenagers
also may have depression. Depression is defined as an illness
when the depressive condition persists.
Significant depression probably exists in about 5 percent of
children and adolescents in the general population. Children
under stress, who experience loss, or who have attentional, learning,
or conduct disorders are at a higher risk for depression.
The behavior of depressed children and teenagers differs
from
the behavior of depressed adults. Child and adolescent psychiatrists
advise parents to be aware of signs in their youngsters such
as:
* persistent sadness
* an inability to enjoy previously favorite activities
* increased activity or irritability
* frequent complaints of physical illnesses such as headaches
and stomachaches
* frequent absences from school or poor performance in
school
* persistent boredom, low energy, poor concentration; or
* a major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns.
A child who used to play often with friends may now spend time
alone and without interests. Things that were once fun now bring
little joy to the depressed child. Children and adolescents who
are depressed may say they want to be dead or may talk about
suicide. Depressed adolescents may abuse alcohol or other drugs
as a way to feel better.
Children and adolescents who cause trouble at home or at
school
may actually be depressed but not know it. Because the youngster
may not always "seem" sad, parents and teachers may
not realize that troublesome behavior is a sign of depression.
When asked directly, these children can sometimes state they
are unhappy or sad.
Early diagnosis and medical treatment are essential for
depressed children. For help, parents should ask their physician
to refer them to a child and adolescent psychiatrist, who can
diagnose and treat depression in children and teenagers.
****Facts for Families is developed and distributed by
the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Facts
sheets may be reproduced for personal or educational use without
written permission, but cannot be included in material presented
for sale or profit*****
Derf contributed this article and a personal
testimonial on winter blues and light therapy:
Do you suffer from Winter Blues?
Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD is a form of depression
that has had a lot of attention in the past few years. In late
summer and early fall the daylight hours are shortening. Those
that are sensitive to this decrease in light may find themselves
slipping into depression or what has been called the "winter
blues." Our bodily cycles and their relation to bright light
exposure have been studied extensively. Studies have shown that
most SAD sufferers are those that live in the northern latitudes
and in areas with frequently overcast skies. Also affected are
people who live in dark environments and who don't frequent the
outdoors.
The symptoms of SAD are similar symptoms of any other depression:
fatigue, irritability, anxiety, weight gain, social withdrawal,
lack of sexual desire and a lack of alertness and motivation.
These symptoms appear more often during the fall months and tend
to disappear come late winter or early spring.
The following information was taken from the following
web site: http://www.northernlight-tech.com
.............Light therapy is a simple, medically recognized,
efficient treatment to fight Seasonal Affective Disorder. Light
therapy involves the use of a specially designed lamp that delivers
10,000 lux of light. Each day, preferably in the morning, for
15 to 30 minutes, people sit in front of this lamp and enjoy
the light. It is the bright light entering your eyes that provides
the therapy. This light impacts on the retina, is transmitted
via the optic nerve, eventually reaching the pineal gland. This
gland controls the secretion of melatonin.
Several years ago full spectrum lights (lights containing equal
amounts of all the colors present in the rainbow) were recommended.
It has since been shown that this is no longer desirable. The
only important factor is the intensity of the light (10,000 lux).
Full spectrum lamps contain more UV, more purple and blue light.
These can be irritating and harmful to the skin and eyes. You
do not need to look directly at the light. Reading, eating, and
many other activities can be carried out in comfort while using
our lamp.........
--Derf's Testimonial--
About 4 years ago when I was battling a depression, I was able
to rent a light from my psychiatrist. I was open to the idea
that I might be helped with my seasonal lows by using the light.
I had heard about Seasonal Affective Disorder and I thought that
by using a light I might be able to stop the onset of the winter
blues that I usually seemed to experience. Could I be both BP
and SAD...why not? I had suffered many depressions through the
years and thought perhaps by using a light box I might at least
lesson or prevent any impending depression. At least I felt like
I was trying something. I would read the morning paper while
sitting in front of the light. I did this for about 4 weeks.
I really can't say for sure how much the light helped me but
I did miss the light when I returned it to my pdoc.
After talking to a neighbor and seeing her light, I decided to
purchase one from Northern Light Technologies. I purchased it
from the company whose website I've included. I've had the light
for 4 years now and though I don't use it religiously, I use
it more in the fall and winter. It is a well made, functional
and bright. My neighbor swears by hers. She is not BP but suffers
from SAD. BP or not if you are one that is affected by the winter
blues you may wish to consider the effects that light has on
your mood. If you would like more information on SAD, light therapy
or purchasing a light, you may wish to check out the web site
above. You can also do a web search on Seasonal Affective Disorder,
SAD, light boxes or light therapy.
The following was contributed by our Peer
Counselor Eyeore:
PLEASE REMEMBER
IF YOU ARE BIPOLAR:
Please remember that your family loves you, they may not
understand you, or even accept your illness, but they love you.
People walking down the street, in stores, at work, generally
cannot tell by looking at you that you are Bipolar, unless you
tell them.
Paranoia can get the best of you sometimes: for the most
part, people have better things to do than think about/talk about
you all day. : )
It is very important that you establish, and MAINTAIN a
good rapport with your pdoc. This means being completely honest
with him/her about how you are doing, not just what you think
he/she wants to hear.
If you cannot feel comfortable with your doctor, FIND A
NEW ONE. If that is not possible (due to finances, insurance)
find a support group or therapist that you can be candid with.
If you are not a good judge of your moods yet, bring someone
along to your appointments who is (a friend, spouse, parent)
If you do not have someone, keep a journal (this is a good idea
regardless)
If you think you will hurt yourself CALL SOMEONE, your
pdoc, a friend, a hotline, KEEP CALLING PEOPLE UNTIL
YOU GET HELP.
Remember, we are here for you, if you should need an ear.
IF SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS BIPOLAR:
Love us, tell us often that you do.
This is a chemical imbalance, it is physical, we can't
"buck up" and feel better. If we had another disease-such
as diabetes, or lupus, would you be as embarrassed? Would you
expect them to "just try harder?"
Be patient. Treatment takes time, and may have many setbacks.
Help us chart our moods if we ask you (and even if we don't,
sometimes it is very enlightening to see something painstakingly
kept).
Take care of yourself, get your own support. You cannot
help someone if you are completely stressed yourself.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone in denial,
or who refuses treatment, is let them hit bottom and ask for
help. and be there when they do. This may be the hardest thing
that you have ever done in your life.
Often things said in the heat of the moment aren't really how
we feel. But also, they can't be taken back once said, and the
offender should apologize.
Remember we are here for you, if you should need an ear.
From: Eyeore
Bipolar
Daughter of Bipolar Father
Sister to Bipolar Sister and Brother
I have been on both sides of this hell, and it is completely
different for everyone, no two BP people are alike, just as no
two people are alike. Patience is the best help I can offer :
)
Contribution by Taylor:
HOW DO YOU GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
This is a hard one. I am still having trouble getting others
to understand me at times. I find that no matter how hard you
try to explain bipolar, they just don’t get it. A lot of
people don’t understand the chemical thing in the brain.
I basically give them information to read about, but again, its
to much to take in for some people. Now, when they see me in
action LOL, they understand some. It just depends on the person,
their belief, and how mature they are. A lot of people from my
church always used to tell me that it was all in my head; it's
something that I can just shake, and no matter how hard I tried
to tell them that wasn’t the case, it didn’t matter.
They are going to think what they want, which is hurtful to me
at times. I met a person online not to long ago that made fun
of me with this illness, everytime he would talk to someone,
it would get back around to me that he would say “well I’m
manic, maybe I should take lithium.” That was cruel and
very immature.
People can be cruel, just make sure you trust who you tell. The
ones who understand you, and who are willing to learn about this,
are the ones who love you and really care about you. That’s
what I have found out. I have very few people that I am close
to, and they are the ones who have stood by me through everything,
including A Silver Lining family : )
A lot of people think Bipolar disorder is something you
really can’t see physically, unless of course you show your
actions in front of them lol. They think if you can’t see
this, therefore it's something created in your mind. I really
don’t waste my time on explaining myself or this illness
to anyone anymore, just because of the reactions I get.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS FOR THE
DAY
I find that through my worst days of depression or the
highs of mania, I always try to think of something positive to
write about. I keep a journal on each and every day, about how
my day went, how I was feeling, what I did through the day ect..
Even though we have these bad days, and its hard to think
of something positive, if we think hard enough, there is always
something positive each day. Mine is my son, maybe yours is something
someone said, somebody saying “I love you”, anything.
Write it down and for the days that you can't think of anything
positive, look back at that page : )
I always look at each and every day for something positive, and
that positive is my son and I’m here and alive, I might
be miserable for that day, but I thank god that at the end of
the day, I can look at say “I made it today.” I hope
you will try this and see if it will work for you, and remember
to live each day like there is no tomorrow : ) Love to all of
you!!!
Taylor
